COCOON

With Cold War Kids on the mind, Nathan Willett, the leader singer, reached out to myself and bunch of our friends about 5 years ago with a simple request, write something about a favorite or important song of yours. His plans were to compile them somehow someway and share with people the impact of song. It was the summer the Cold War Kids played their first show ever. A lot happened that summer. I don't know if the project ever went anywhere, but I wrote this about Bjork's song Cocoon, which I feel is a highly sensual and sexual song. Nate both loved and was a bit shocked with my response to his request. I suggest you listen to the song while reading. Sorry if it's too much.

I lost my virginity to Vespertine. This means so many things. A thousand times over and over in my mind and in my hand I held my cocoon and gave it to you my love ____________ (please write your name here so I will know that I have not merely imagined you and I will know that you exist). When I hold you and our chests are shirtless, I squeeze you so tight because I would like for you to not be inside me, but be me. I will not be separate from you any longer. Penetration is not enough, deeper, deeper. There is darkness inside all of us, and this is where the beauty lies, you just need to find it. There are so many holes that need filling, so many wounds that need healing. I was so scared, so young, and you cradled me in a half-globed embrace and unwrapped everything around me until the world laid unraveled at our feet and only you and I existed and this is where poetry comes from, and this where virginity unstems from, a song…no no, that’s not enough, deeper, darker, more, our bodies are a song, one song, finally.

And then as quickly as you entered, you float away, untouching me one moment at a time, walking backwards into the water, for it is from where you came. Turn that lake to ice, the water is so black, and you enter it and the ripples crystallize, you have left your mark inside of me, tattooed between my heart and my vulnerability. Please let me feel this again.